Can men be empaths too?

I was asked this question by one of my lovely clients recently, who then sent her husband to me for a session as well. Spoiler: he was absolutely an empath, who was so sensitive to other people’s energy that it often rendered him physically ill. He hadn’t figured out how to tell what was his own energy and what he picks up from other people in his job as a doctor. He said that he’d heard about empaths but thought it was a ‘woo-woo girl thing’. Happy to say, not anymore. Women are so vocal about being empaths these days that it’s not often acknowledged that men can be too.

Empaths, of any gender, are emotional sponges. They feel the emotions (and sometimes physical sensations) of the people around them, especially those they care about. Being an empath can be a superpower because it gives you insight into your loved ones’ emotional wellbeing without them needing to open up. You know things without knowing how, and you know how to help people without knowing why. You also have a sixth sense about when someone isn’t being completely honest, either with you or themselves.

Empaths tend to be soulful and trustworthy listeners, the emotional ‘vaults’ for everyone’s troubles. This can make them sounding boards for just about anyone, empaths rarely leave the house without someone sharing their life story or struggles with them, and the tricky thing is that empaths don’t just hear them, empaths feel them as though they were their own.

Because of this, empaths need a lot of alone time, especially in nature, to process and clear themselves of energy they have picked up, especially if it’s sad or negative. If they don’t have time to do this, they carry that energy as though it’s their own, which is exhausting and can lead to overload. Sometimes I drive across town to do my supermarket shopping, incognito in a beanie, so I don’t have to talk to anyone, and while this might sound weird to non-empaths, if you’re nodding in understanding then welcome to the club.

So, if you are an empath, what can you do? First of all, accept it. You’re an empath. Let that understanding wash over you. It won’t be new information, it will be a remembering. Second, when you feel overwhelmed by unexplained emotion during the day, stop for a moment and ask, is this mine? Nine times out of ten it won’t be, and then you can ask for it to be taken away. Third, meditate. Ideally, every day before you go to sleep, imagine your energy being washed clean as though you’re in a shower, with everything that you’ve picked up that day draining away into the earth. Four, protect yourself from certain situations. Have you ever agreed to go to a party you really didn’t want to go to, only to arrive and spend the whole time waiting to be able to leave? Trust your gut and learn the power of the polite decline. Finally, find your tribe. The idea of empaths only sounds woo-woo if you’re not one.

And if you’re lucky enough to have an empath in your life, cherish them tenderly.