Finding Joy: Skateboarding

A common conversation between me and my kids, and I’m sure between most parents and theirs, goes something like this:  

Child: “I can’t do it.”

Parent (happily armed with the right response): “Maybe you can’t do it yet, but you can learn to. You can do this.”

Child: “No I can’t, it’s too hard.”

Parent: “It’s hard because you’re learning something new. Keep trying! I believe in you.”

Best case scenario, the child perseveres and masters the new skill and everyone feels wonderful.

I found myself on the flip side of this advice a few months ago. After a year navigating the ickiness of divorce I was looking for joy, and the first time I guided my longboard into the waves at Te Arai it felt so healing to finally try surfing. Cue huge wave, mortifying belly flop and salt water up my nose. And repeat, repeat, repeat, for the better part of two hours. This was not going as planned. When exactly would I rise to my feet and glide down the wave with the wind in my hair like those women I follow on Instagram?

All week I practiced popping up on my bedroom floor, hoping that muscle memory would help at my next lesson, but I still spent more time blowing water out my nose than on my board. Lesson three saw me actually get up for a few seconds, which someone managed to catch on film. It looked like I was squatting for a number two. #notpostingthatone

My 10year old reminded me that it was hard because I was learning something new. To keep trying. She believed in me. Gah! It adds a whole new layer to parenting when your kids start using your well-meaning words against you! Anyway, Covid and the business of life intervened and opportunities to get out on a surfboard dried up.

Fast forward a few months and my daughter received a penny board for Christmas. I was straight on it come Boxing Day and nearly broke a few bones, not to mention my pride, when it shot out from under me much like the surfboard. Once again, she told me I could do it! It was only hard because I was learning something new! My sons joined in for the encouragement (entertainment) too.

Showing patience beyond her years she taught me where to place my feet and how to balance when pushing off. Without the added complications of a huge wall of water and having to remember which order to ‘pop up’, suddenly I was off and gliding down the footpath with the wind in my hair like those women I follow on Instagram. #skatergirl 

The sense of freedom and organic movement on a skateboard fills my soul with a zing I haven’t felt in years. I’ll still be taking a longboard out to try and master surfing, but skateboarding is something joyful I can do every day, even if it’s just up and down my deck while nutting out a scene.

I don’t think finding joy comes naturally past childhood. It’s a skill to be practiced, especially when the daily grind makes joy hard to spot. Keep trying! It’s only hard because you’re learning something new. You can do this. I believe in you.

And when you’re gliding with the wind in your hair, make sure to tag me so I can follow you on Instagram too.